http://www.sci-techuniverse.com/2019/02/harrison-ford-stop-giving-power-to.html?m=1
And now a haiku:
Oh, Harrison Ford
Hero of the silver screen
Hero of science
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Instrumental Please
I like a lot of progressive metal. I think bands like Mastodon are fantastic. There are some other bands, however, where I think the music is fantastic, but the vocalist just screams all the lyrics making it unlistenable to me. I just don’t enjoy that.
And now a haiku:
Aggressive music
Does the singer need to scream?
Instrumental please
This is His Jam?
There was a time when my son’s favorite bands were Queen and The White Stripes, but that was when he was 5 or 6 years old. All was right with the world. At 12, he listens to mostly Top 40 because that is what all the kids do. Now his favorite song becomes his least favorite song within weeks. However, his musical tastes can still surprise me.
I was driving in the car with my son last night when a familiar guitar riff emanates from the stereo speakers.
My son exclaims, “Oh, this is my jam!” and turns up the volume.
The “jam” was Rick Springfield’s Jesse’s Girl.
Yes…Jesse’s Girl is his jam. Go figure.
And now a haiku:
Classic guitar riff
Is Jesse’s Girl the savior?
Maybe there’s hope yet
A Lotta-Lotta-Lotta Rice
My son and I were behind the most annoying Chipotle customer yesterday. I have never seen anything like it.
A woman, who was with her boyfriend, approaches the front of the line at Chipotle and the friendly employee asks her what she wants. She requests a burrito and, as usual, the employee next asks “White or brown rice?”
The woman replies, “White…I want a lot of rice. Like a lot of rice. A lotta, lotta, lotta, rice.” The patient employee says, “well, how much more than normal?” She says, “A lotta, lotta rice. Like twice as much as usual.”
The employee heaps a huge pile of rice onto the tortilla. I do not believe there was any issues with her bean and protein selection. She gets passed on to the next employee who asks for her choice of salsa.
The woman indicates that she wants the mild, tomato salsa. The employee adds the normal amount of salsa to the burrito. The woman says, “Can you add more salsa?” The employee obliges. The woman says, “A little more.” Again, the employee obliges. Guess what? The woman was not done. “A little more.” The employee scooped even more salsa on. The woman says, “Oh…that is too much, can you take some off?” The employee is not allowed to simply take off some salsa and put it back in the salsa bin. So, she grabbed a plastic side container and scooped some excess salsa into it. The woman seemed pleased and moved on to the cheese.
I could describe what happened next, but all you would have to do is read the paragraph above and replace the word “salsa” with “cheese.” No exaggeration. My son and I were looking at each other in amazement and trying not to laugh too loudly.
Finally, the woman’s burrito was perfection in her eyes. Because of all the extra rice and salsa and cheese, it looked like it would be a challenge to wrap up. The woman even says to the employee: “I’m not sure you are going to be able to wrap that. You may need another thing.” I assume that by “thing”, she meant “tortilla.”
The employee attempted to roll up the tortilla and, as expected, it tore. She had to get another tortilla to double-wrap it. No surprise that when the employee tried to roll the foil around it, it did not reach all the way around, so she had to get another piece of foil. Just to recap…this burrito had:
- a lotta-lotta-lotta rice
- more than usual amount of salsa (not including the removed amount, which has to be thrown out)
- more than usual amount of cheese (not including the removed amount, which has to be thrown out)
- two tortillas
- two pieces of foil
During the application and re-application of cheese, her boyfriend started complaining to her, “What are you doing? You are so embarrassing!” The woman protested to her boyfriend like her requests were normal. I have to give the employee a lot of credit. She did her job without letting on that she was dealing with the most high-maintenance Chipotle customer of all time.
And now a haiku:
What are you doing?
No Chipotle eittiquette
There should be a class
Woodpeckers and Freezing Rain
Nature has not been kind to me. I realize that I am only one of millions that was impacted by the winter storm that ravaged the East coast last weekend. However, I did not move 300 miles south to North Carolina to be impacted by winter weather.
In the 3+ years that I have moved, it seems that whenever I travel to Maryland for work during the months of December to March, a winter storm follows. My co-workers joke about it. My family jokes about it. For all intents and purposes, I am a winter weather magnet.
My January trip was approaching and all the news was talking about was this year’s storm of the century. I was scheduled to fly in on Tuesday, Jan. 19th and fly out 5pm on Friday, Jan. 22nd. The snow was predicted to start falling on Friday evening.
Almost as soon as I landed, I looked to see if I could come home on Thursday evening. My plan was not original…all Thursday evening flights were booked. Fortunately, I found a flight for Friday morning. I could get the hell out of Dodge well ahead of the blizzard.
On Wednesday night, I had a meeting in Gaithersburg very close to my sister’s house. I invited myself over for dinner and had a wonderful visit with my sister, her husband, and my incredibly adorable niece.
What I did not know is that while we were enjoying a fun evening, ominous white, fluffy snow was falling from the sky. I did not have any idea that this snow was coming and it did not seem that anyone else did either.
As soon as I noticed it was snowing, I decided to head back to my parents’ house in Crofton (or Hotel Sutton, as I like to call it). The drive should normally take an hour. I figured, with the snow, that it would take longer, but little did I know…
I started out at 8:15pm. It was immediately obvious that it was going to take awhile, but I figured as soon as I got on I-270 that things would pick up. The secondary roads were a mess and it was a crawl to get on I-270. The roads were covered with snow and I could not see the lane lines. I took it nice and slow and, thankfully, so did everyone else on the road.
Unfortunately, I-270 was even worse. I kind of lost track of time, but I think it took me over an hour to get from I-270 to the Capital Beltway. From there all bets were off. At that point, Google Maps seemed to think it would take about 2.5 hours to get to Crofton. However, my arrival time kept getting later and later because I was not moving.
I spoke to my wife who was also trying to use Google Maps to help me find another route. I spoke to my dad who was also trying to help find another route. I spoke to a good friend who kept my spirits up for about an hour. Towards the end of our phone call he asked me how far I had gone since we started talking. I guessed about 100 feet. At this point, it was midnight and I had been on the road for nearly 4 hours.
Because Verizon cannot do voice and data at the same time, when I hung up, Google Maps announced a new route for me that would get me to Crofton in an hour — take Connecticut Ave through DC to Route 50. While that seems like a good idea, I am in the far left lane, no cars are moving, and I am about 30 feet or so from passing the exit ramp.
The good news is that traffic is at a standstill, so I still have a chance to somehow maneuver my way to the exit. The bad news is that traffic is at a standstill, so I have no chance to somehow maneuver my way to the exit. I sat there for about another hour and the weirdest thing happened. No cars were moving forward, but the right lanes were starting to thin out. I think people had given up and pulled off to the shoulder and/or taken the Connecticut Ave exit.
Now, at 1am, I suddenly had my opening and basically crossed the Beltway perpendicularly to take the Connecticut Ave exit and I was on my way. I would like to thank the makers of GPS and Google Maps because without my Nexus 6P, there is absolutely no way I would have been able to make it back to Crofton. I have a habit of getting lost in DC and I cannot even tell you how I crossed through the city, but I was able to make it to Route 50. I also need to commend the District of Columbia. The roads in the city were in excellent condition: not snow covered; wet, but not icy. I do not know if that was a function of the weather or the DC government. In either case, I was very appreciative.
Once I got on 50 and out of the city, the roads were very bad again, but by this point, I think most people were home and there were not too many cars left. I did have to go around a pick-up truck that had spun out in the right lane.
As soon as I pulled in the driveway, my phone rang. My dad wanted to know if I was making progress. I was thrilled to tell him that I made it and I am right outside. I walked into the house and both my parents were waiting for me in the kitchen. I felt bad that they waited up for me. Ironically, my parents never waited up for me when I actually lived at home.
So, at 2am, I climb into bed unable to fall asleep. I watch Netflix on my iPad and finally get to sleep around 3am. I had a meeting the next day at 9am. Before I got into bed, I e-mailed to say I may not be in on time. I was not planning to wake up on purpose.
I was sleeping very well when I hear a tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Pause. Tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Over and over again. I opened my eyes, look at the clock: 7am. The source of the noise: a distant relative of Woody Woodpecker. I could not believe it. Woken by woodpecker. There was absolutely no way I was going back to bed, so I easily got to work in time for my 9am meeting.
Do you think this is the end of my story? I am afraid not.
I somehow made it through the day on Thursday, although, many times during the day I found myself staring at my laptop trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. Exhaustion was setting in.
Around 5pm, I was getting ready to leave for the day, looking forward to boarding my flight home the next morning. Suddenly, I see an alert for an e-mail pop up from Southwest declaring that my flight had been cancelled. I was dumbfounded. The blizzard was not supposed to hit until the evening. It turns out that Raleigh was expecting freezing rain Friday morning.
I am operating on four hours of sleep after an exhausting, stressful night with the prospect of driving 5 hours home to beat the weather in Raleigh. First, I had to drive to my parents to pack up. I ate dinner and contemplated my next move. My wife was adamant that I not drive home because she was afraid I was too tired. We reached a compromise: I would drive part way, stay in a hotel for a few hours, and then drive the rest of the way before the freezing rain hit.
I really did not want to stop (partially) overnight. I know myself and I probably would not be able to get any sleep at all. I would just be stressed out and more tired.
I left my parents house with my rental car at 7pm. I stopped around 8:15pm to fill up on gas and buy candy and soda to keep me awake. The candy and soda worked. I arrived home at midnight and climbed into bed.
I was sleeping very well when I hear a tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat (no pauses this time). Over and over again. I opened my eyes, look at the clock: 6:30am. The source of the noise: freezing rain. Just my luck.
To top it all off, my winter adventures coupled with lack of sleep must have weakened my immune system. I have been fighting a bad cold since last Saturday. I’m still pretty congested, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was thinking about skipping my February trip to Maryland, but I think I will play it by ear and drive up instead of dealing with airlines and rental cars. It will be easier to control my destiny.
And now a haiku:
Naughty, by nature
Woodpeckers and freezing rain
Assaulting my sleep
And now another haiku:
Winter weather sucks
Moved to NC to avoid
There is no escape
And now another haiku:
Thank you, Google Maps
You are sent from the heavens
Guiding my journeys
And now another haiku:
Where is John Candy?
Planes, trains, and automobiles
Thankfully, no trains
Damn Dead Battery
And now a haiku:
Oh, smoke detector
BEEP – shorten nighttime slumber
Damn dead battery
A Daghter’s Voice Lost
And now a haiku:
A daughter’s voice lost
Writes down everything she says
Frustrations abound
Some Sites Are More Worthy Than Others
I have been using the incredible Feedly news reader ever since Google shut down its RSS reader app called, simply enough, Google Reader. When you follow lots of feeds from lots of sites, you notice things about headlines that annoy you. I think certain sites are afraid that their reputation isn’t good enough to draw in readers, so they have to entice people with a question in the headline. Or maybe they are afraid that a simple, straightforward headline would give readers the information they need and they won’t click-through to read the article and provide the desired advertising revenue.
I will admit that headlines with questions do occasionally make me curious and I succumb to the temptation to find out the answer. However, I follow a lot of sites in Feedly that cover similar topics. If I see a headline that poses a question, chances are another site will have a similar article with a headline that doesn’t pose a question. For instance, see the following image:
Two websites that specialize in movie news: Aint It Cool News and JoBlo’s Movie Network.
Aint It Cool’s Headline is: Brad Bird On THE INCREDIBLES Sequel Status!! Is it His Next Movie??
On its own, this headline is intriguing. I am a fan of Brad Bird and I absolutely love The Incredibles and I had previously heard a sequel is in the works. Normally, I would click on this, but wait…
The next article in the list from JoBlo caught my eye: Director Brad Bird says The Incredibles 2 will be his next movie.
Well, JoBlo just answered Aint It Cool’s question for me. I appreciate that. Even though I now know the answer, I do want to know more. I want the details. What is it going to be about? When is it coming out? Are all of the key voices returning? Etc.
Which site will earn my click based on the headline alone? I have been a avid reader of both sites for years, but I’m going to have to go with JoBlo this time. Truthfully, if not for the question in the headline, I would probably look at both sites because they may have different sources of information. The question in the headline really annoys me. Please treat me with respect. I don’t need to be click-baited.
And now a haiku:
Headlines summarize
Give me the info upfront
Don’t ask me questions
RSS Links
Better Off Jed 